Nine out of ten men I find attractive fit perfectly into the tall, dark and brainy category. I was gonna call it tall, dark and nerdy but I think ‘nerdy’ opens the door for the dungeons and dragons, anime, sci-fi variety a little bit too much. I don’t mind a touch of those but I’m less of a ‘dress up as a super natural being and go to Comic-Con’ and more of a ‘undress a human being and go to bed’ kinda girl.
Standing a whopping 5’3, it’s not hard to find a man that’s taller than me, but when I say tall, I’m talking a tall man’s tall. I want a guy to be able to reach any of the spices in the cabinet above the stove; reach the punch bowl that’s way in the back because we never use it but I wanted it just in case; put the angel on top of the Christmas tree and scratch that spot on my back I can’t reach (ok, to be fair, he doesn’t have to be tall to reach that spot but I like the idea of him enveloping me while scratching that itch (both of them)).
With the exception of Boomer Esiason, every man I have ever loved has had dark hair. It started in the fourth grade when I stole my first kiss from a boy named Alf (that was his nickname, thankfully, but I can’t remember his actual name, (getting old sucks)), at the skating rink. Sadly, it didn’t work out with Alf, but he did set the stage for the rest of the men to play a role in my life.
Smarts are merely the tip of the intelligent iceberg for me. I like a smart guy but I LOVE an intelligent AND intellectual (if you aren’t sure of the difference between the two, you probably aren’t either and I’m not into you) guy. Use Dante’s Inferno to describe our relationship, know why the math is wrong in Numbers and know how to properly use I in a sentence and I will be putty in your hands! Besides, I think brainy guys make the best lovers. They haven’t had a lot of experience but they have seen a lot or porn and are eager to please!
I was gonna end there but, are you watching the Golden Globes? And speaking of my ideal man, here is a little text exchange between me and my friend KJ:
BS – OMG! Sheldon is in a tux on the Golden Globes! I’m so glad I stayed home!!!
KJ – What channel! I need to see this.
BS – NBC. Google it, he is tasty!!! He def will be starring in my dreams tonight!
KJ – This moment could only be bettered by some torch smores.
BS – If Sheldon toasted them and then fed then to me whilst wearing the tux! Double yummy!
KJ – Fine! Sheldon may borrow the torch!
BS – You are a true friend!
KJ – Ok. Glee is getting ripped off!
BS – I just want to see Sheldon some more!
KJ – You should make Sheldon a blog post, with some sort of Sheldon graphic.
BS – I think that might be over the top, don’t you?
KJ – Uh, you sent like five texts about him. Do you even have an over-the-top meter?
BS – Yeah, duh, that’s how I know it’s over the top!
KJ – I think you are just doubting your graphical prowress. (sic)
BS – It’s true. I don’t think I could make anything Sheldon worthy. Nor do I think my nubile graphic abilities would even begin to touch upon the dirty desires he inspires in me.
KJ – Wow, just wow.
I'm not kidding! Holy freaking cow! Sheldon is smoking hot in a tux. If Sheldon Cooper wasn’t from Texas he would be able to give John Cusack a run for his money.
If there is a god, Sheldon will be in my dreams tonight. And John.
Your welcome!
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