A gift cake you DON'T want to look in the mouth

Today is my granboss’ (my boss’ boss) 65th birthday and to celebrate, KJ and I ordered him a cake. We briefly toyed with the idea of a cake with a motion activated dinosaur to simultaneously represent his life’s work and his life, being old and all but we were dismayed to find this cake would only feed 10 to 12 and we needed something for about 30. So, we put on our thinking caps and got down to some serious cake decorating ideas and we came up with this beauty:

I am not sure this photo fully captures this absolute grotesquest image we asked the bakery to use but please feel free to check out these images to see similar ‘beings’. My granboss lovingly named our little friend Muffy Man and he takes great pleasure in introducing Muffy to new staff members. Needless to say, once you have met Muffy Man, your life will be forever changed. Having personally experienced Muffy, I am not convinced it is for the better.

As an added birthday bonus, we dressed Muffy Man up for the occasion and he attended the cake gathering.

If I had to venture a guess, this is probably the best thing (in his opinion) my granboss’ staff has ever done for him.

And, if I am to be completely honest, deer ass cake ain’t half bad!

The long and the short of it

I don’t get the male fascination with girls and long hair. I don’t get the fascination of guys with long hair for that matter, but that’s a topic for a different day. I have shortish hair, it isn’t a buzz cut or the reverse mullet I used to rock or manly in any fashion but it is above my shoulders and I can’t put it in a ponytail. And, apparently, to some guys, I may as well be bald because if it aint long it aint hair.

My hair was longish, middle of my back give or take a shoulder slump, when I decided to get a super cute bob ala Katie Holmes. I really liked the cut plus I was applying for a job as the manager of a department and I wanted to look all professional and boss of people like and I didn’t really think my long, pigtail braids were gonna fit the bill. Besides, I never wore my hair down. Between health code regulations in restaurants and the hot as hell temperature in Florida (and the car with no ac in the hot as hell temperatures in Florida) my hair was always pulled up into some sort of ponytail. What’s the point in all that hair, all that V05 shampoo, all that Nice ‘N Easy if I have to spend 2.41 hours per day sculpting it into the perfect my-hair?-oh-my-gosh!-I-just-pulled-it-up-into-a-ponytail-hot, ass mess?

So, I cut it all off. Sadly, I couldn’t donate it to Locks of Love because I’m an ass and I have had highlights but I learned my lesson and henceforth, I will not have highlights with bleach in the event I grow long enough hair to chop off and donate. Yeah, I’m altruistic like that, I don’t mind saving $74 to help out the kids. So, the hair is short, I don’t look as young as I did with long hair but that goes with the boss of someone territory, but I like it, I have liked it for almost 2 years. Then some guy that didn’t even know me when my hair was longer saw a picture on Facebook or Myspace or Twitter or your third uncle’, neighbor’s, plumber’s, ex-wife’s, new girlfriend’s porn site and he commented that he like the long hair version of me. Better. Is that supposed to be a compliment?

Yeah, so, hey? You used to be pretty and now you’re just…bald.